Engagement season has arrived, and December remains the most popular month to pop the question worldwide, according to The Knot. But while proposals are still romantic, expectations around who pays for the ring are shifting.
Traditionally, engagement rings have been a man’s financial responsibility—immortalized in pop culture with the idea that he should “put a ring on it.” Today, however, many women are rethinking that norm.
A recent Holiday Engagement Survey by DatingAdvice.com, which polled 1,000 partnered U.S. adults, found that nearly 71% of women (70.6%) are willing to contribute financially to their engagement ring. About 19% said they would pay for the ring entirely, 23% would help cover part of the cost, and 29% would contribute if necessary.
So what’s driving this change?
Dual-income couples are more common than ever
More couples today rely on two incomes, with or without children, compared to a decade ago, according to the Pew Research Center. While the gender wage gap still exists overall, women under 30 now earn as much as—or more than—men in some U.S. metropolitan areas.
“With more dual-income couples and women delaying marriage to build their careers, there’s a growing openness to treating the engagement ring as a shared investment,” says Natassia Miller, certified sexologist and founder of the relationship-coaching company Wonderlust.
Financial realism is reshaping tradition
Engagement rings don’t come cheap. The average ring costs about $5,200, according to The Knot, at a time when many Americans are feeling financial strain.
Prices overall have risen roughly 25% since January 2020, based on Consumer Price Index data, and nearly half of Americans say their financial situation has worsened this year, according to an Intuit Credit Karma survey.
“Against that backdrop, it makes sense that couples are becoming more pragmatic,” Miller explains. “Rather than one partner taking on debt to meet an arbitrary ring standard, many women prefer sharing the cost so the decision reflects real financial priorities.”
A powerful symbol of commitment still matters
Even with shifting financial dynamics, the engagement ring remains deeply symbolic.
“Many women—regardless of financial independence—grew up surrounded by rom-coms, social-media proposals, and bridal marketing that frame the ring as proof of worthiness and desirability,” Miller says.
For many, the ring is still a public statement. “It says, ‘Someone committed to me and is willing to show that commitment to the world,’” she adds.
As traditions evolve, one thing remains clear: engagement rings are no longer just about who pays—but about partnership, shared values, and commitment built together.
